A Trauma Thriver’s Dating Profile (For Friends, Not Romance)
By Meg Shike
I sat down this morning intending to write something serious, something meaningful… and instead I wrote myself a dating profile for friendships.
Not for romance. For the kind of people who understand trauma, chronic illness, CPTSD, and healing — not in theory, but in the lived-in, hard-earned way.
Honestly? It might be the most accurate bio I’ve ever written.
Hi, I’m Meg.
I’m 5'2", a lifelong Southerner, and a collector of cats, coffees, and episodes of Dateline that inexplicably calm my nervous system.
Likes:
• Cats
• Coffee
• Dateline (don’t judge — it soothes me)
Dislikes:
• People who treat me poorly
• Anything that overworks my nervous system
• Narcissists in any form
The Truth Is…
I’ve lived a lifetime of trauma. And being a trauma thriver means I require:
• Time in nature
• Massages when I can get them
• Hours — sometimes days — lost in books (both writing and reading)
I’m hesitant to let people fully see me (see: trauma, narcissists, survival mode, people-pleasing). Letting new people in? Terrifying.
Not because I don’t want connection — God, I do — but because old wounds don’t forget how they got there.
What I’m Searching For
I’m learning how to make friends as a grown woman who spent her whole life reading a room for danger instead of reading it for connection.
As I slowly rebuild my support system, I’m looking for people who:
• Understand chronic illness, rare disease, trauma, and the healing journey
• Don’t expect me to be “on” all the time
• Know that going to bed at 7:30 PM is sometimes a spiritual practice
Healing can be lonely. This is my way of finding community again.
My Ideal People
People who:
• Pay attention to their own energy instead of scanning the room for others’ moods
• Don’t require caretaking or emotional performance to stay connected
• Are equally comfortable sitting quietly together or talking about the hard stuff
• Want to feel seen, heard, and not alone — because that’s what I want, too
I want the kind of friendships that make healing feel less like a battle and more like a shared journey.
Cheers to Us
Healing is messy. It’s funny. It’s lonely and beautiful and terrifying and hopeful.
And writing this “friendship dating profile” reminded me that other trauma thrivers are out here, looking for one another — quietly, awkwardly, tenderly.
So if you read this and thought: “Okay but… that’s me.”
Then hello, friend. Welcome to the part of the internet where we heal out loud, together.
